Valentine's Day Tip

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, and because over the course of my college years I have witnessed friends and personal mistakes with "confessions of love" letters, here is a perhaps not "all inclusive" ten point list to follow when ... er, "spilling the beans."

10 Things To Avoid When Confessing Your Romantic Feelings For Someone In A Letter:

1.) It is a common theme that most spend at least six to eight sentences explaining simply why they are writing the letter -- this length of an explanation is highly unnecessary. Unless you think the person you're sending the letter to isn't sharp (which I'm assuming the target of your admiration would not fit under this category), then it is useless to take up that much space explaining your feelings. Try to keep this portion of the letter to a two sentence maximum, and I'm not referring to those sentences that have two to three commas and a semi-colon. Keep it short.

2.) This point is an outpouring of the former; do not exceed one half of a page (a full half) in the length of the letter. If you follow point 1, this shouldn't be a challenge. The key is not to flood your "adoree" with so much emotion and praise before you know if the sentiment is returned.

3.) DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT give them a way out. This is unnecessary. Back to the pivotal point 1, we are assuming they are sharp, and with that being the case they can find their own way out. A written way out only weakens your argument.

4.) Do not bash your intentions with phrases akin to "I hope this doesn't ruin the friendship"; "I hope this isn't awkward"; "This is hard for me to do." Saying such things only make the fears more true. As difficult as it may be, refrain.

5.) Never say: "I know you probably would never like me." This is suicide.

6.) Do not waste space making an excuse for why you decided to write a letter instead of breech the topic in person. Letters can actually be quite romantic; let them believe the letter proclamation was due to romance, not because you didn't have the guts to tell them face to face.

7.) Don't get so caught up in how you feel that you neglect being direct and fail to point them to the next step. If you want to know if they feel the same way, make that question clear and let them know the appropriate way to communicate this to you (instant message, phone, in person, follow-up letter, etc).

8.) A brief anecdote related to when your love began to bloom is appropriate. However, a detailed description that borderline discloses the fact that you have been arguably obsessed with them for the past (fill in number) of years is, and will most likely come across, as creepy. That is unless you are 100% sure your "honey" feels the same, and I'd imagine if you are going to such editorial lengths, this is not the case.

9.) Do not sound too formal, though on the same note do not make it too light. The perfect declaration of love (assuming there is such a thing) will be sober, yet charming. One without the other is problematic.

10.) Perhaps the most monumental of all points: Do not EVER come off as angry at your paramour. An aggressive love proclamation is the worst idea of nearly all ideas. It is in no way their fault that you are THAT tormented. And, if by chance it is significantly their fault, a love letter may not be the conversation you're needing to have. If you happen to be angry at your prospective lover, cool off, think it over, and decide whether you're going to choose to be joyful or agitated over your festering love. If you happen to choose the latter, DO NOT write the letter; just don't.