Study Spot

My current most effective study spot is a specific corner at Panera. It's the left-most corner near the door that's nestled in the back. A booth for two, this spot allows me to snuggle up in the booth's cubby and prop my feet in a very uncouth fashion on the seat facing me. I like this spot for several reasons: I can see people, but I'm under the illusion they can't see much of me, I'm near a door which calms me because I have a sure-thing fire escape (ok, so I'm half joking), and I'm partial to corners -- always have been.

Due to the amazing nature of this spot it's generally occupied, but the moment it's free I feel like a kid at Christmas. I would recommend that you come try out my spot and see what it does for your academic success, but that would mean you would occupy my spot, and I don't think I like how I feel about that.

Necessities For A Lady:

1.) A carpet bag. Maria (Sound of Music), Anne (of Green Gables), and Mary (Poppins) all had one, does that not persuade you enough?
2.) Bobby pins. Ever had a bang issue in 90 degree + heat? Whip out a bobby pin and your bangs are rescued. Not to mention bobby pins can be handy little tools in emergency situations (not sure for what, but I have faith that small, pointed, sharp, metal can have more than hair styling usages).
3.) A handkerchief. Ok, so most people think hankies are a bit unsanitary, but I find them endearing and highly helpful in many situations. Think, a hankie can serve as a Kleenex, napkin, bandage, handy cloth ... though I recommend not using the hankie for all those things at once.
4.) A book. Why you might ask? To occupy your mind in dull situations, an imaginative escape, and to make use of doctor's office or train time. Also, it's much easier to accept people being late when you're engrossed in an interesting book.
5.) Hand Cream and Chapstick. Let's face it, everyone loves soft skin.
6.) Aspirin. You can make many friends by carrying this around.
7.) Good things memorized so that you can repeat them in your head. Maybe it's a song, verse, poem, or something someone said, but it's nice to store it in your mind and recite it to yourself when the situation calls for it (I'd advise silently, or people may think you're crazy).
8.) An umbrella. This would be the part of the list where I typically fail. I'd much prefer getting wet -- really -- but, I still think if we're speaking in terms of ladies, an umbrella should be at hand.
9.) A good luck charm. It doesn't really have to be a charm, but something you always wear that gives you luck and familiarity -- something with meaning. Mine are my rings, I never take them off.
10.) Smoking hot boots. That way, when life kicks you down you can put on your boots and it all feels a little better (or at least looks better).

This list is both ridiculous and silly, but if you too are ridiculous and silly then post more ideas in the comment section. Ladies only, of course. ;)

Sometimes I listen to "Hey Jude" on repeat, I'm not sure what this says about me, except that I like the song and that I have a high tolerance to musical repetition. There is something comforting to me about playing a good song on repeat, something stable and familiar.

Like every good American I like The Beatles. ;) I mean, "Yellow Submarine" and "I Am The Walrus" really are not top picks for me, but when I was seven my tastes accepted them thoroughly. Now, at 21, I'd have to say my favorite Beatles song is "Hey Jude" (hence, why it's on repeat often).

I've always been partial to the sound of "Hey Jude." There's something about the easy beginning and soft piano cords that make me feel reflective -- in a good way. But the part that really gets me is the lyrics. As a words person I'm a sucker for lyrics, sometimes to an idealistic fault, and "Hey Jude" is up there on the lyrics chart.

I haven't quite figured the song out, but that partially leads to its allure. I take it as a guy, Jude if you will, who is afraid to be with a girl, afraid to let someone in. His friend, the singer, is giving him advice, "Hey Jude don't be afraid, you were made to go out and get her," (my favorite line). Then, the more confusing part, "Take a sad song and make it better." I guess I just interpret this as advice for Jude to make the situation better. Poor Jude ... and I have no idea why I've put so much thought into Jude's life right now instead of doing my homework.

Inspired by the Beyonce song "If I were A Boy" my friend Laura and I came up with some things we'd do if that was the case.

1.) RUN IN THE DARK (we decided this was the best one).
2.) Eat, constantly eat. What you might ask? Everything! (Everything tasty that is.)
3.) Get up 15 minutes before I have to leave and still look decent.
4.) Fight combat in the Marines.
5.) Be a fireman.
6.) Lift heavy things just because I could.
7.) Make cool designs with facial hair.
8.) Use all the Acts products.
9.) Wear boxers.
10.) Chase girls.
11.) Wear a tie.
12.) Shaving optional.

Still, I'd far prefer being a girl -- nice shoes, frilly colors, emotions welcomed, the acceptance of squealing or giggling in public places, the list just keeps rolling ...

"The Right Star"

Are the stars out tonight?
A space of black scattered with white.
Has dark ever looked so bright?
Midnight shadows filled with light.

Stars they flash dreams that have come and gone;
Can this dream hold on?
Dreams they bloom only to become withdrawn;
Is this a wish I can rest upon?

Maybe it’s nothing,
So many nothings.
Oh, but what if it’s something?
The best kind of something,

The kind that swirls black into white,
Stardust raining on night.
My heart will take flight,
Star wishing gone right.

I love this poem:

Brown Penny by William Butler Yeats

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.

O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Why I Love Mornings:

1.) The cool morning air that creeps through the window and hits your face.

2.) The quilts and blankets that feel so cozy and warm -- not to mention, they balance the cool air.

3.) Breakfast. Need I say more? I absolutely love breakfast.

4.) Coffee or tea.

5.) The quiet stillness of the house.

6.) Morning sunlight.

7.) The endless possibilities the day holds.

8.) Morning conversations with friends and family on the couch.

9.) Hanging out in my pj's for as long as possible.

10.) Time. There's still a whole day to accomplish everything.

11.) Having energy from a good nights sleep.

12.) Everything looks brighter in the morning. :)

I play this game (most days) where I ask myself if I could go anywhere in the world -- no limitations -- where would I go that day. This whole game was developed as a result of a huge map in our house, and really, the game's only rule is to try to pick a place that perfectly suits my mood.

Yesterday I chose Prince Edward Island in light of Fall, the day before I chose Spain because I was in the mood for somewhat of a cultural experience, then the day before that I chose Belize because I was freezing.

Today I would choose Richmond Park in London. I want to run in the moist fog, cool gusts of air pushing me along. The leaves would be all sorts of golds, greens, reds, and browns by this time of year, so I could crush through them as I ran. And, as odd as it may sound, there's this one tree that I used to run by that I really miss. Maybe it's not normal to miss a tree, but you haven't seen this tree ...

You should play this game -- I highly recommend it.

Anyone else a Tammy fan? Really, it's Debbi Reynolds at her finest. Below is the link to "Tammy's in Love" -- straight from YouTube. Yes, if you're wondering, I too sing at my window seal. :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UQmi7nooLQ

Seeing that my last post was on hope, I thought it would be somewhat fitting to compose a post on patience, as patience can often times be connected to hope.

I am a fairly patient person, except when it comes to myself. When it comes to personal matters, I want answers immediately, I tend to get antsy quickly, and I doubt what it is I'm waiting for. In my defense, in my 20 years of life experience I've witnessed that patience is not a common human quality. In fact, patience, as many important things in life, has to be worked toward.

Today in my sort of "informal quiet time" I decided to focus on patience. In my pursuit, I found several notable quotes and verses. I will try to use restraint and only share a handful with you:

Quotes:

"Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith."
- Adel Bestavros

"To lose patience is to lose the battle."
- Mahatma Gandhi

"Trying to understand is like straining through muddy water.
Be still and allow the mud to settle."
- Lao Tzu

"All fruits do not ripen in one season."
- Laurie Junot

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when
you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake."
- Victor Hugo

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going
when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

"The secret of patience is doing something else in the meanwhile."

Verse:

More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

-Romans 5:3-5

Hope.

Fewer things make me more frustrated than hope; but fewer things are more essential to life, love, and faith. Without hope we are creatures living in despair, and in the words of Mirilla (Anne of Green Gables), "to despair is to turn your back on God." Hope, almost like air, truly is vital in our lives.

In a society that's transfixed on "clear-cut results" the concept of hope can seem more like a fairy tale or unrealistic idealism. To hope is to dream, and dreaming in itself accomplishes nothing tangible -- how can success be merited in that?

I think I first became disappointed with hope when I was two-years-old. Ever since then hope and I have had our battles, but at its core, next to love and grace, I find few things more beautiful than hope. I want, with every fiber of my being, for people to see me and sense the hope in me. There is so much to hope for ...

- Love.
- Heaven.
- Dreams.
- The gospel.
- Making a difference in the world.
- Being all God wants me to be.
- Showing kindness to others.

I could spend all day listing all the things I hope for; not because I am discontent or unsatisfied with life, but because I know God made us for so much more and I hope I can never forget this.

One of my favorite verses is Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer." And a favorite poem of mine is by Emily Dickinson, "Hope Is The Thing With Feathers." Whenever I get scared that hope will fall through the cracks I repeat that poem or verse in my head, remembering that God delights in my hope.

"Hope Is The Thing With Feathers"

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

I couldn't help but put Helen of Troy's picture in the post regarding gender difference ...


The other day when driving through my neighborhood I saw a little girl on a brightly painted scooter. Her honey colored hair was neatly in a bun, complemented with a sparkling pink headband and her matching dress caught like bursts of wind as she "scootered" toward her brother. Now her brother, quite contrary in appearance, looked like a banshee just appearing from the wild. For all I know, this may have been the case -- perhaps, this was his first meeting with civilization since birth. Rumpled dirty blond locks stuck this way and that, a billowing tee-shirt, and a smile that looked like one of a crazed warrior painted his face. I couldn't help but laugh at the opposite pair.

As of last night, 10:37 to be precise, I finished a paper for my Theology of Gender class. Having been a college student for over three years this paper should have flowed like honey. Instead, it sputtered onto the page more like crusted honey that's been in the cabinet so long it's nearly become a solid. Choosing a stance between complementarity and egalitarianism was not easy. Dismissing all the bulk of the verses and commentary, I'll put in short what I've come to:

God loves both men and women exactly the same -- complete equality. As with that, salvation is completely equal among both sexes. Still though, there is a difference between the genders. Yes, the tension in this difference is attributed to The Fall, but the difference itself, that difference is part of God's intricate plan. In different gender roles one can see distinction and separation. While at the same time, just as Eve originally came from Adam, God wills for men and women to be united as they were meant to be all along. God formed men and women separate so they can come together and unite -- this unity amidst distinction revealing so much about the nature of God Himself. Isn't it beautiful that despite gender difference God has still willed there to be oneness?

Just like the two kids on my street, girls and boys cannot help but be naturally different. And I cannot help but find a sweet comfort in the "banshee" of a little boy and the pink ballerina of the little girl, not because it's a cute example of "girlish" and "boyishness," but because it reveals the naturalness in gender difference -- a difference that God intended for much good.

Today I was talking to my grandparents on the phone and my grandpa asked me how my marathon training was going. I proceeded to explain how, though it's going, my motivation is currently in a mid-training slump. My grandpa then continued to say how I needed a running buddy.

With this statement I agreed saying, "hopefully I'll find one someday."

"Yeah, Prince Charming will eventually come," my grandpa said through a chuckle.

"Maybe," I said, not entirely convinced he will.

"And when he does, he'll be a great running buddy because he'll chase you."

Now, I couldn't help but laugh at my grandpa's last statement, not because it was or was not true, but because Prince Charming chasing me would probably be the key to get me to run faster.

As I sit here I cannot help but wonder ... am I in good enough shape to out run prince charming? Shoot. I better up my training. Either that, or Prince Charming is going to have to run fast. :-)

I have this question that I've been asking people lately: "Do you like the beginning, the middle, or the end?"

It's a simple question in its essence, but I suppose if one starts over analyzing it, then it becomes not so simple. Regardless, I find it a telling question. Love for the beginning of things may be an affair designed for the optimist, the thrill seeking sort, perhaps someone who's not all that afraid of the unknown. Then the middle, perhaps the safest choice, can provide comfort and security, richness, a history and a future, something steady. The end, this selection may be for the darker sorts, but perhaps, in the right situation the end could be for lovers of closure, completion, and if a successful ending, then fulfillment.

It is entirely possible that my theory of this question is all twisted up in nothingness, but I enjoy asking it just the same. One, because I'm a question person, and two because I'm an answer person.

Now, you may be wondering what my answer is, or you may not, but I'll tell you just the same. I would have to choose "middle." Yes, beginning are so very exciting. There's such an innocence, a freedom, a sweetness to them, but I hate how fleeting beginnings can be. I don't particularly enjoy how beginnings gone wrong can transform into something you will one day miss. Something you loose. And endings, though positive in many cases, tend to be draining and a little sad. But middles, just like the delicious white center of an Oreo, seem to cushion us with the "chocolate cookie" (cheesy, I know) of security. Though I love adventures and I love the unknown, deep down, it's security that I want in the things that matter to me. So, yes, though I find beginnings and endings much more exciting, I will choose the middle.

The other day on my way to Nature of Math (G.E. class, I would not take such a thing on my own volition) I was talking to my roommate, Michelle, about silly "ways to my heart." I believe this was spurred as a result of a conversation where I claimed that she would have more of my heart if she gave me free reign of the milk (seeing that we share milk and I drink inordinate amounts). This got the creative thoughts flowing ...

12 Silly Little Ways To My Heart:

1.) Compliment me on my outfit. Yes, this may be shallow, perhaps a little silly, but if you say you like my blue shirt with my yellow cardigan or anything remotely of that nature, I am instantly pleased.

2.) Let me make you food. This is a strange one I'll admit, because it's usually the other way around, but fewer things make me happier than to cook for people.

3.) Ask me what I'm reading. It's a simple question, really, but it's one of my favorite ones to answer.

4.) Give me a spontaneous hug. How I love hugs.

5.) Tell me you read my blog. It's kind of lame exactly how happy this one makes me. It almost makes me think I need to get my priorities in-check. Should I get so much happiness from such a statement? Probably not. I just can't help it. ;)

6.) Play hypothetical games with me, such as: "what if ... "; "would you rather ...."; "if you were ... " -- you get the point. It takes a special person to take these games seriously. Thanks, Michelle.

7.) Carry out an inside joke to its grave. Things that were once funny rarely loose their funniness, if anything, they ripen in time. If you and I have an inside joke that's lasted years, odds are, we're kindred spirits.

8.) Send me a letter. The other day my friend spontaneously put a card in my mailbox (I think I refer to this a couple posts below), but it was a very exciting affair.

9.) Teasing. When my friends make fun of me I know they're my real friends. My grandpa once told me, "Melissa, someone would never take the time to tease you if they didn't really like you."

10.) Plot a ridiculous/silly scheme with me. Too old for this kind of thing? I think not.

11.) Be willing to debate about topics being fully aware that coming to a conclusion is about as likely as Ashton Kutcher dumping Demi, flying a private jet to Biola, and whisking me away, all prior to 9 a.m. tomorrow (10-3-08).

12.) Read something I've written and critique it. If I can get a person to do this, our friendship is in stone.

Dear Fall,

Please bring me back to Scotland ...






Here's to a happy first day of October, and a blustery welcome to Fall -- my favorite season!