More poetry...

~Put it on the Tab~

My hearts in my throat, I taste blood when I breathe, I had no idea this would be killing me,
From this posture I’m gleaming, so ready and deceiving, an air of confidence unfit to measure,
Here’s to wit—just one last time, here’s to charm—you can put it on my dime; a glass raised to the stars, I’ll exit with the charge, here’s to every seamless thing you wanted me to be,
I knew this would end, but to pretend, a performance for you to treasure,

I dare not explain myself, but as certain as misery, I strive to explain you,
Something must compensate this sorrow; some part of this pay had to be a mistake,
Over and over it presses in my head, over and over everything that wasn’t said, this recipe for askew,
No book, no stare, no voice, no prayer, could fasten all that’s designated opaque,

Though before I bow out, a dance so shrewd and discrete, I feel I need to give one more toast to the freedom love promised to be,
Liberty to choose, life to loose, a looseness to let go when the curtain falls in blither,
How wrong had I been, a puzzle to discover, this independence gave me little to see,
Unearthed by emotion, struck by this fight, choice transformed into restriction, a folly untaught of pleasure,

Hand me the sentiment, I’ll take the bill, let me in peace, while I piece together this view,
Fingertips clench heartstrings, misted eyes can hide, you leave me with nothing short of fake,
One last smile, one final gaze, and as your silhouette lingers, the beauty hurts as unsullied as new,
Composure leaves the best of us, though it won’t desert me tonight, I pick up my dignity, I fumble for my pride, closures overrated because compassions overdue—there’s nothing left to take.