Dorms. They’re a big thing on campus. So when dorm selection week rolls around, let me tell you: it’s intense. I’m talking about backstabbing, cutthroat, run for the lottery number, knock out your fellow classmate intense. There is paranoid banter running down the lines of people as people clench their dorm slip, with sweaty palms, bulging veins, wondering if they are going to get a courtside view, how close to the bathroom they will be, and if the cool RA that they really only know because they looked them up on Facebook is going to be on their floor.
Perhaps when saying all this I am speaking for the masses, but regardless, relationships between friends are affected by this, your morning view is affected by this, and the lovely shower you hopefully choose to grace daily will be affected by this. So when I chose Horton I was careful to choose wisely; naturally when I found out a couple weeks later that the dorm should be finished, the word “should” resonated nicely.
It has come to my attention that the completion of Horton fifth is still up in the air (no pun intended). This doesn’t really bother me, seeing that I am on the second floor and will not be suffering from the drafty weather conditions Horton fourth will encounter with the absence of a roof. But the advantages for Horton fourth are numerous, to say the least. With a lack of a roof, the floor will be able to enjoy a panoramic sky view, the fresh Los Angeles air, early fall rains, and who knows? Someone’s prince might scale the roof-less walls of Horton during non-open hours and create a scandal worthy of the Chimes’ front page.
The repercussions other floors will feel will be more subtle, but entertaining nonetheless. On move-in day, residents of floors one, two, three, and four may be greeted with several uninvited guests from fifth floor who are residing temporary until the completion of fifth. Imagine Charlie and the Chocolate Factory’s house if you will. If mom, dad, Charlie, and both sets of grandparents can fit into one room, think of what the expansive, spacious dorms rooms could do! Twin means two, right? So the whole twin bed situation shouldn’t be a problem.
And floor activities -- those should be fun. Of course it would be difficult to know who is on your floor if the floor doesn’t actually exist, but that can easily be fixed. I suggest the school provide tee shirts that say, “I live on fifth, sleep on fourth.” Or to avoid confusion entirely, one should go to the neighborhood Big 5 and purchase a plethora of tents, lanterns, and sleeping bags, and simply convert Horton fifth into a small, quant camping area adjacent to the power plant and parking lot.
In reality, I have confidence that Horton fifth will be completed by the fall. And besides, with a brand new five-story dorm, at least the ambiguous phrase, “should be completed” gives the materialistic, paranoid masses fodder to complain about.

Dreams are so good, so-so good, and when my head hits the pillow they capture me. Alarm is bad, so-so bad, and when the alarm blares the half-static, half-music noise from its frail speakers I am always so confused what exactly is going on, and from this my reaction is horribly delayed.
8 a.m. off campus aerobics…seemed like a good idea last December, looked cool putting its call number into my WebReg, and has been deal able all semester, that is until about two weeks before finals when the 7a.m. alarm is no other word but evil.
I get up, barely make it down the wooden steps of my bed, hardly avoid the wooden rack my laundry is drying on, and somehow manage to make it to the dingy carpet--barely alive, but breathing. I put on the work out clothes I laid out the night before (I know I’m a dork,) throw my hair into a ponytail, wash my face, eat some cereal, and leave, all the while contemplating the idea of skipping aerobics and not getting out of bed, as I have still not fully realized that I am out of bed.
The air is foggy with a slight chill, but the density of smog is far too heavy for it to be in any way refreshing. I stretch out my legs, careful not to further the injury of my swollen foot, and take off. But this morning, this morning felt different.
I began to think. Alright, think….different? No, I always think, it may very well be the ban of my existence, “the life of the over thinker,” but it was what I was thinking about this morning. I started to think about the end of the year, and began to really examine how God was working in my life.
As the weed whacker made its menacing threat in my direction, and small pieces of grass became stuck in the moisture of my eyes, I thought about what had changed in me. This year had been good, great actually, and God has blessed me in so many ways. I have made two best friends that I could compare to no one, have done well in my classes, not gotten homesick, joined a ministry that I am going to be director of next year, written for the Chimes, done Eaglevision, befriended professors, got the job as the Chimes next year’s Opinions Editor, and meet a handful of people that have touched me so many ways. Most importantly this year has brought me closer to God. But what the funny thing was, when I thought about growing closer to God, I began to seriously think, maybe it’s not just those things that have brought me to God.
Looking back on this year what God has blessed me with is pain. There has been an emptiness, a loneliness, an uncertainty within me, and in these times and in this emotion I have felt God. When I could not stand, God just held me, and though these words to some may sound corny, to me they are true. I came into college with expectations, with dreams, with ideas, and though many things are happening, they are happening God’s way, not mine. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but God does, and it is through the pain and confusion of this year that I have realized the ultimate control God does have. You cannot make someone love you, you cannot make yourself successful, happiness is not your gift to yourself, but in all these things it’s God who works in you; if it is God’s will and you are ready he will unfold your life to you, and if you make his desires your desires, he will give you the desires of your heart.
So maybe I don’t know what the next chapter of my life will look like, or what big change in me God will create next, but in a way that is unexplainable God has worked in me this year, and that to me is an accomplishment in itself.
As the sketchy cars and unattractive headlights hit me in the eyes my run came to a close and I found myself standing in front of aerobics. I leaned on the rubber poll I always leaned on and took in a deep breath, filling my lungs, resting my exercised shocked body. This had been a long run, and thinking about an ending to my freshmen year makes me sad, seeing that I am the kind of person who hates to watch doors close and can’t look back when I say goodbye. But thinking about God… thinking about the changes in me, made me excited. Maybe next year will be painful, maybe my whole life will hurt, but God will drawl me to him through this pain, and it is when I am close to God that I can truly experience what love is.

Joy

Joy. Joy is the feeling you have when filled with God’s love. I remember I heard this at a chapel once and for some reason it has stuck with me. Happiness. Happiness, is the emotion that fills you when worldly things touch you—but joy, joy is overwhelming, beautiful, and truly a God thing.
I am sitting here right now, in a scrambled dorm room, looking at a cloudy bright sky, with about a million things to do, but truly all I can do is sit here and feel this joy from God. I don’t understand it, but that—that is the beauty of it.
There is nothing that special about today; I didn’t get a well deserved A on a paper, I didn’t have any mail from anyone special, I didn’t get to sleep in, I didn’t go buy a new outfit, I didn’t make someone laugh so hard they could hardly breathe, I didn’t get to lay on a warm sandy beach and hear the waves, hug a good friend, make a noticeable difference in someone’s life, no exciting love story, no good news from a friend or family member, and no surprises. But God, God has blessed me with joy, he is all I need, he has filled me with his overwhelming love, and though 75% of the time I tend to focus on what I want from God…..no, I do not feel this. I say God, you—you are enough.
“As I wait you make me strong, as I long, drawl me to your arms, as I stand and sing your praise—you come, you come and fill this place.”