Stormy skies

I love when the sky is stormy. When the world is full of gray and the air feels almost electric. So unpredictable. So untamed.

The sky being stormy is one thing; life being stormy is another. Lately, between the anticipation of finals, graduation, a huge job interview, and a marathon, life has been what could be called "the perfect storm." While normally I am not partial to a lifestyle that entails excessive stress, inconsistency, and an average of five hours of sleep each night, I am learning to appreciate God in the presence of a storm.

Reflecting on my college experience it is evident that God used me most not when I was at my lowest -- no, go further -- when I was about three notches below my lowest. Because I've seen God act so vibrantly in my life when I had the least clue what was going on, I can honestly say that my life in scattered uncertainty, though stressful, is a blessing. At such a time of vulnerability and uncertainty only God can answer the looming future questions; only God will move my plan forward.

In church on Sunday the pastor said something that has been repeating through my head for the last four days: "God is not safe, but he is good." It has opened a vault of thought, stirring me to continually ask myself, "is safe really what I want?" Storms aren't safe, that's for sure, and unlike God, not all storms are good. But storms are apart of life, and often times the rain in a storm can be the very thing needed at the time. God, like the storm, is unpredictable and untamed. However, because God is good he will get me through the storms in life.

I don't want safe. I want God. A good and benevolent creator that puts people through challenges, trials, joys, suffering, love ... all in pursuit of his good plan. In the midst of this particular storm that I'm now in I'm not going to choose to wait it out, but rather embrace the storm. Knowing that a good God will protect me -- even if it doesn't feel safe.