God's Plans

This morning I was talking to a close friend about my mixed emotions toward graduation and the future, and like with most meaningful conversations, a specific part struck me.

"Really I just want to drink tea and write all day," I said with exasperation.

"Writing is really what you love isn't it?" She asked.

"Yes, with the occasional run and book, and loving -- I really like loving people."

She looked at me, "Then hold onto that."

I breathe out with uncertainty as I sit here on this mid-Monday morning. I'm listening to the "Dear Frankie" soundtrack and drinking coffee that was accidentally self-sabotaged with too much sugar-free chocolate syrup. I have a million things to do, but I have to take a moment to write, because I love to write, I love it in the way that I could write for eight hours and it would feel like eight minutes. Writing is my joy.

I don't know what I'm doing with my life, and as each day passes into my pending graduation date in December the thought becomes, ironically, considerably foggier. This semester has surprised me in ways that only God can surprise, and my life is turning in untraveled directions, yet I am doing very little to make that happen. I suppose, though I so desperately want more direction, there is nothing more I can do but embrace my dreams and hope, trusting God. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Though I'm terrified, I'm excited -- soul flying, heart pounding -- the best kind. I don't have a job lined-up, an elaborate plan, and my resume is in dire need of an update; though this behavior goes against my natural inclination, I am genuinely confident God will use my passions. So, for now, I wait.